Bittersweet - Panic! At The Disco All that hate is gonna burn you up. It keeps me warm at night. Warmer than anyone. I think how many drinks I’ve had. No more in either hand. I’m slurring on purpose. And it’s certainly worth it.
Everything I do is bittersweet. You could tell me secrets that I’ll probably repeat. I’m not trying to hurt you, I just love to speak. It feels like we’re pulling teeth. So bittersweet.
A: Something I am sad about. B: Favorite band. C: Who I like and why I like them. D: Dream house/place to live and why. E: Post a photo of yourself right now. F: My favorite movie. G: Sexual orientation. H: Do I smoke/drink? I: Have any tattoos or piercings? J: What I…
me:AND WE'RE THE THREE BEST FRIENDS THAT ANYBODY COULD HAVE, WE'RE THE THREE BEST FRIENDS THAT ANYONE COULD HAVE, WE'RE THE THREE BEST FRIENDS THAT ANYONE COULD HAVE AND WE'LL NEVER EVER EVER EVER EVER LEAVE EACH OTHER
Were they serious with "He's Just Not That Into You?"
WARNING: RANT AHEAD, ALONG WITH SPOILERS FOR THIS CRAP MOVIE
Ok, so most of the time if I put up something about a movie on here, it’s because I either loved it or hated it. This is definitely in the hate column.
So, I bought this movie as part of a two-pack last year around this time for Valentine’s Day. Ironically enough it was packaged with Valentine’s Day, the movie, which I actually really enjoyed. People hated on it because of the ensemble, but it actually worked really well. Haters can carry their hate somewhere else.
Anyways, on to this monstrosity. I thought it’d be pretty good, considering the cast - Jennifer Aniston, Ben Affleck, Jennifer Connelly, Bradley Cooper, Scarlett Johansson, Ginnifer Goodwin, etc etc. Not exactly Oscar winners here, but good enough to deliver a decent movie, right? Wrong, bitches.
First of all, let’s talk about the plot itself. Now, I don’t have super strong feminist views or anything, but I couldn’t BELIEVE how badly these females were portrayed in this film. It was like they thought of every overbearing, neurotic, flaky stereotypical idea about women they could think of (“she HAS to get married!” “she’s controlling!” “she’s neurotic to the point she drives men away!” “she’s a gorgeous, unbelievable tease!”) and crammed it into a terribly crafted story. Don’t get me wrong, the men were pains in the ass too. The only one I found moderately likable, at least for a time, was Justin Long, but even at the end he got to be ridiculous, with the “look! he’s acting just like the girls!” shtick.
And then there’s BCoop, whose prettiness is honestly the only thing that kept me from turning it off, but his story was whack. The jump from “oh I watch ScarJo swim naked but we’re just friends” to “hey we’re in bed together”, I thought I missed something. Like somehow, I’d skipped a part, or I’d gotten shitty-movie-highway hypnosis and had zoned out. Nope, it was just that badly written. And then, the thing with the closet? DUDE. D U D E. I couldn’t believe it. If I was ScarJo I would have beat the SHIT out of him. And then, Ben Affleck. Goes through the whole movie, doesn’t want to get married. Refuses. And then, just when Jennifer Aniston changes her mind, tells him she can be happy without the marriage, he decides that he HAS to, because he knows she won’t be happy otherwise. Yeah, THAT’S the gateway to a happy relationship. eyeroll. They should have just ended their story at the boat scene.
Speaking of all these couples. That was my equally huge problem with this movie: the couples all had like, zero chemistry. None of them meshed together at all. Hell, not even the main core of girlfriends had friendly chemistry. The only couple I marginally believed didn’t come in til the end, Drew Barrymore and Connor (I’m sorry I dont know the actor’s name, oh well). Other than that, it was just an awkward fest.
Now, am I getting too hyped up about a crappy RomCom? Possibly. But I can’t be the only one appalled at what this was. And maybe I’m missing the point; maybe it’s “supposed” to be a satire. I dont think so, though.